Meet AKPORS

MEET AKPORS:

Real Name: AKPORS

State: Warri

D.O.B: 2nd April

Sex: Male

HOBBIES: collecting teeth from a live tiger, catching bullets with bare hands, assassination, Jogging up & down mount Everest. And collecting rock particles from d moon

MY RECORD: fought with an elephant and broke its neck, skinned a crocodile alive!. played Russian ROULETTE with fully loaded clip & survived...killed Superman, held my breathe under water for 2months, 3weeks, 6hrs, 51mins, 45seconds, assassinated Adolf Hitler, John .F Kennedy, Tupac, Abacha (d list is too long!)

GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT : surfed on hot lava while d volcano was still erupting, Outran a cheetah, fluent in 10,598 languages, 1st man to land on the sun, Carried the pyramid of giza for 2 days straight!

SILLY THING DONE: Surfing on a tsunami and hurricane Katrina, snow boarding on mount Everest, sky diving from outer space

EMBARRASSING MOMENT: couldn't kill 100 bears with a single punch only 99 died instantly and the one that was left went to join the circus.

PROUDEST MOMENTS: when a cobra died after biting me. When I saved the planet by diverting an asteroid with just one kick.

SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I really don't like to brag.

Justin Bieber on Selena Gomez break up: 'I don't know what'sgoing on in my life'

Justin Bieber was asked the inevitable — and awkward — post-split question on Saturday night. In an interview with the Open House Party radio show, the pop star was asked to comment on his breakup with Selena Gomez. "I don't know what to say," he sputtered. "I don't know what's going on in my life. To even assess that, it doesn't make sense 'cause I have not made any comment." Bieber seemed annoyed by the question so the radio host, John Garabedian, quickly moved on. He joked that the singer could use the breakup for song material, a la Taylor Swift. Bieber made a hesitant chuckle but made no further comment. The 18-year-old has stayed zip since the pair made headlines with their split last week. However, the Twitterverse lit up after Bieber’sBoston concert Saturday night, during which he performed Justin Timerlake’s "Cry Me A River, " the 2002 hit that detailed Timberlake’s breakup with Britney Spears. Bieber tweeted: "Thank you Boston. Focused on the positive. #30MillionBeliebers with me. I'm never leaving you because you are alwaysthere for me."

NEW: Jamb to release result 30 minutes after examination

The Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) Registrar, Professor Dibu Ojerinde has said that the proposed Computer Based Test (CBT) which will enable candidates write their examination on-line, will commence from 2013. Professor Dibu Ojerinde disclosed this in Kaduna yesterday when he led his management team and staff of the board on an advocacy visit over the proposed Computer Based Test (CBT) to Kaduna State. According to the JAMB registrar, who led the advocacy visit to Kaduna State Ministry of Education, National Board for Technical Education (NBTE), Kaduna Polytechnic and National Teachers Institute (NTI), the board will also ensure uninterrupted power supply during the examination. He said although UTME candidates for 2013 will have options of Paper Pencil Test (PPT) and Dual Based Test (computer and paper), the board will begin full blown computer based testing by 2015. “From now on, with the use of Computer Based Testing (CBT), candidates will get their result within 30 minutes after the examination. It will also address cases of result black out and examination malpractice,” he said.

How to treat a lady.

1. Be Nice to her. Remember that every human being wants to be appreciated and treated well . The more genuine and specific you are, the better.

2. Remember that "no means no" . If you're doing something that makes her uncomfortable , even something simple like hugging, stop doing it. Ask her why it made her uncomfortable, and try not to make her uncomfortable again - either don't do that thing, or wait until she tells you she's ready but you need to remember that sometimes asking the same thing over and over again can be annoying.

 3. Let her talk about herself . If you say you want to get to know her better, and you then take over all the conversations, she will think you are self-centered and not very interested in her after all.

 4. Find out about her hobbies by asking questions about the kind of music she likes, sports, movies, family, observing her environment, etc .

 5. Compliment her . Say that her hair looks nice or that a shirt looks great on her. Then look in her eyes , and smile . Mean it. Keep it real. A small gift is a nice touch Tell her she is pretty. No matter how average she thinks her looks may be, a girl will usually be flattered and pleased to know you think she is attractive. Say "You've got the most beautiful eyes/hair/skin/hands/etc. I've ever seen," and again, mean it!

6. Maintain good hygiene . Take a shower , put on deodorant, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and shave (if needed) right before you see her—every time. Nothing makes a girl more uncomfortable than body odor, badbreath, or skanky skin.

7. Listen! You need to be a good listener. That works with most girls; they need someone who will patiently listen and understand them! Make comments that encourage her to provide more detail, especially if it's an intense topic. And NEVER abruptly change a topic of discussion unless there is a definitive (and obvious) end to that topic. All too often, boys break away from a conversation abruptly with a new topic that stresses how great or wonderful they are. Don't fall into this trap. If you follow the discussion and really listen, that is when she will really know you're into her. There is a huge difference between "hearing" and"listening", so make sure you are actively listening to her. Don't try to fix it. We all have a tendency to want to fix things. When a girl talks to you about a problem, she more than likely does not want you to help her fix it. She just wants you to acknowledge that she has a problem and empathize.

 8. Let her know about things she might be interested in . This will show her you remembered and are thinking about her, and the things she likes.

9. Don't forget her special occasions - especially her birthday .

10. Be truthful . There is no need to lie. Being honest during the dating process means you are being real - being the person she likes and not the person you think she'll like. If you find yourself consistently prone to embellishing the truth about yourself, try aiming toward that goal so that it will be the truth. If you find yourself always apologizing or trying to soothe her ruffled feathers, you need to honestly decide whether or not the two of you are a match. Treating a girl well also means recognizing this truth, and telling her in a way that hurts as little as possible — as soon as you know.

wizkid and banky might part ways

According to Global News magazine, a Nigerian tabloid. The magazine reports Banky W and WizKid might part ways soon except something is done to avert it. The reason is clearly as a result of some financial dealings that is not going down well with both parties. Sources hinted that there is serious entertainment politics going on within the four walls of EME as their record label is known. As part of ways to secure more gains, WizKid has already sacked Osagie, his manager… We hope we won’t see another case of PSquare & MayD oo !!! Wiz & Banky are just soo cool working together..

joke 102 logic and legality

A student from University Of Adult Jokes had failed his final law papers and was obviously not happy. He questioned the professor and decided to make a raw deal with him... Student: Professor, do you consider yourself to know everything about law? Professor: Absolutely, otherwise I would not be capable of standing in front of you and lecturing you on the subject. Student: If you can answer this question, I will agree with you and accept my final examination marks, if you cannot, you will have to give me an "A". The professor laughed over it but agreed. Student: What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal and neither legal nor logical? The professor thought about it for hours and pondered, but there was no answer. He had to finally give up as he really did not know. He gave the boy an 'A'. The following day at lecture, the professor was still struggling with this unknown mystery and decided to pose the question to his students. Professor: Class, what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal and neither legal nor logical? He paused for a second in shock when all students raised their hands with a possible answer. He pointed out one student and waited... The student: Sir, you are 65 years old, married to a 28-year-old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23-year-old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed his exam and yet you have given him an 'A', that is neither logical nor legal. The professor collapsed.

nigeria and water melon

A Ghanaian man, American man and Nigerian man were lost in a forest and were captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the three friends that they could live if... they pass a trial. The 1st step was to go deep into the forest and get 10 pieces of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. ... The Ghanaian man came back and said to the king, "I brought 10 apples". The King explained the trial to him. King: You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The American arrived and showed the king 10 berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed. The Ghanaian and American met in heaven... The Ghanaian man asked, "why did you laugh?, you almost got away with the trial"....then the American man replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the Nigerian man coming with Watermelons!!!

joke 101

A primary school teacher was teaching her pupils Christi an Religion Knowledge , after few minutes of teaching, the teacher asked, what is the materials God us to create hum an being, immediately many hands were up, the teacher call on one of the boys, the boy said, breath of God the whole class laughed, but the teacher then go further by explaining to the boy that before the breath, what was the material God used to mould us and a little girl quickly said clay, everybody clapped, the teacher said good answer please clap for her again, after few seconds of clapping one of the boys screamed and said, stop, stop, please teacher don't teach us non-sense, are you saying that clay was the only materials used, that is totally wrong God also use charcoal and a very good example is you I hardly see someone as black as you are.

21st century saga...

WELCOME TO THE 21TH CENTURY!!! *Our Phones ~ Wireless *Cooking ~ Fireless *Cars ~ Keyless *Food ~ Fatless *Tyres ~ Tubeless *Dress ~ Sleeveless *Youth ~ Jobless *Leaders ~ Shameless *Relationships ~ Meaningless *Atitude ~ Careless *Wives ~ Fearless *Babies ~ Fatherless *Feelings ~ Heartless *Education ~ Valueless *Transactions ~ Cashless *Children ~ Mannerless *Women ~ Patientless Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless. In fact am ~ Speechless